On Awareness

I saw this movie tonight (I won’t say which one to avoid any spoilers) about life and death, but mostly life as a result of the knowledge of impending death. Heavy shit, right?

Actually, it was light hearted enough to make you laugh at the heaviness of death, yet heavy enough to make you feel a bit light headed from the immensity of the situation.

Recently I’ve found myself becoming more aware of my own mortality, a simple realization that I won’t be young forever or live forever. Yes, that’s right… I’ve found the beginnings of the first wrinkles starting to barely appear on my forehead (?!?!?!?!!) and it makes me want to wear facemasks multiple times a week.

But really, enough now, because it’s not even really about any of that. It’s just a reminder that *these days* are days to be enjoyed, and that actually, San Francisco has been pretty awesome. And that whatever is on the horizon is always just out of sight. And that what’s out of sight is only a figment of your imagination, perhaps a dream. And that dreams are good for getting us to tomorrow, but are dangerous to truly desire. And that desire is just impatience begetting spontaneity (oi!) — oddly enough, the consumed always transparent to the onlookers but rarely the instigators. And that attempting to be opaque can sometimes just leave you exposed in really awkward ways. But that’s okay 왜냐면 사람이 다 같은, 그렇지? What it is.

  • Anonymous

    And you were so bummed about going to SF…tsk tsk. I’m glad you’ve been having a good time!