She was 16 and he in his mid 30s, maybe a little bit weird but it worked—they were together until he passed away, leaving her without the partner that she had experienced her entire life with. It was an arranged marriage, but the kind of togetherness they had is unlike what many are able to experience.
He was 25 and she in her early 30s, nothing out of the ordinary and it worked—they were taken to infinity and beyond, leaving them both bewildered when it slipped away in the span of three seasons. It was an intense relationship, and the kind of love they had is unlike what many are able to experience.
One was built upon the idea of bringing two people together who will see eachother through to the end, the other a fragile bond held together by the glue that we call love. The former a planned endeavour; contractual by nature, the latter born in an ephemeral moment of mystery; full of emotion.
So what is this all to say? Well to me it begs the question:
If we loved like we work, how would the notion of “I’ll be there to take care of things and won’t let us down, and if I do I’ll figure out how to not let that happen next time” compare to the sentiment of “I love you and I expect you to love me, and for that love to satisfy the both of us” in the long term.
I’m not resigned to taking sides here, as your mileage will always vary, but for sanity’s sake, it’s something to ponder.
—
Of note, I’m not throwing in the pangs of love gone awry or intentionally preaching the cynical side of relationships. This entry was the result of a conversation that involved comparing the roles and responsibilities of the workplace with the roles and responsibilities of relationships. It was a thought experiment and attempt at projecting the pragmatic intentions of co-workers upon the emotionally charged (and often volatile) nature of co-lovers, thus yielding a more even-keeled kind of interaction between people. Yes, the examples are extreme, but to leave this with some sense of optimism, the end result of this “loving like we work” might be some kind of “less” romance, but on the other hand, what starts as a logical join of two lives could end up as something much more—it’s more about the practice of the process than a query of the result.